Much to the delight of this year’s graduating class, seniors are now required to take finals after new ruling from the state.

This change couldn’t have come soon enough. After years of students looking at the seniors and seeing how lazy they had become after three years of hard work and dedication, underclassmen could only gasp in horror at what their futures would hold. Now, they can continue the same sleepless nights that they have the past three years.

“My idol has always been Muhammed Ali,” said an anonymous, concerned student. “I am ecstatic to now fight for my grade like a real champion instead of just being handed it,.”

According to a study from the Neville Chamberlain School of Public Policy, working harder, rather than smarter, is what creates successful students. Yet, requiring them to work through such endless hours is only to their benefit.

For three years, students were told that their futures would consist of an easy, laid back senior year without finals. However, going back on such promises will only serve to prepare students for the lie filled cesspool that is civilization.

“My dad lies to me all the time,” said an anonymous teacher.

The messages sent by taking away the very things that students had worked towards for years are paramount to life. This teaches students that their hard work and dedication will not be rewarded in the real world.

“Finals are just a good way to wake up in the morning,” said one anonymous student. “They’re just a relief from the normal school day.”

However, students are crowning the wrong hero in this case; the schools administration isn’t the real heroes in this miracle. Students should be thanking the state instead, as administrators have made it abundantly clear that they were behind this miracle rather than the school.

“Hi I’m PJ Wilkins, Philosopher Extraordinaire,” said an anonymous source. “It really teaches us to be responsible for our actions when the school denies any involvement with this beneficial change to our life, how humble. It really teaches me to trust my school.”

Many students share this opinion with the aforementioned source. The change in Cell Phone Policy only cemented this trust. The continual flip-flop of school policies has given students the stability to trust their education, and thus themselves.

On top of the obvious excitement of taking finals, the school chose to throw another cherry on top in the form of a senior cookout for qualified students, only making their senior year more memorable. Compared to the thrill of taking finals, however, the cookout is at most a pleasant afterthought. A small, distant afterthought.

“Go cookout!” said an anonymous student.

The one caveat in the numerous benefits of offering seniors the opportunity to take finals is that it leads them to believe that they should trust authority rather than take their own action.

“How dare I think that I was special,” said an anonymous student. “Now I know that I can trust in the school to make everything alright.”