“My kids are going to play sports when they grow up.” This phrase is said all the time by high school students. Students who are current athletes obviously plan on pushing, in some cases, forcing, their children participate in sports. Another thing I hear is something like this, “My kid is going to be throwing a football/running/playing soccer/whatever out of the womb.” I know I personally have said the latter, but never in complete seriousness.

Now, there are problems with these statements of course. A parent shouldn’t push their kids too much towards athletics at an early age, or even when the child becomes older and becomes a young adult or teenager.

I’ve heard too many times that people can’t quit playing a sport they no longer wish to play or hate now because their parents would be mad at them or something like that. That to me is wrong. Someone should never be afraid to quit a sport because of their parents. If you no longer love or want to participate or play a sport anymore, then just tell them. Some parents will be mad, but they will get over it eventually.

Now, this is not to say that pushing your kids to play sports is entirely a bad thing; it just depends on how much you do it. Personally, I plan to just push my kids towards sports in the beginning. Have him/her try out multiple sports and see if he/she likes some or any of them and they can continue from there and after that I will support him/her.

I’ll push them towards running pretty early on and if they don’t like it then their loss. They can pursue whatever sport or activity they so please.

Parents should not not push their kids to play sports, because if they do play then the children will be worried that the parents don’t support them. Or the kids will be worried that the parents resent that decision.

However, pushing too much is even worse. Before explaining why, it should be explained what too much is. Pushing kids too much to play a sport YOU love first off is not the same as pushing your kid to play a sport THEY love first off. Then they won’t find a true passion for things and will just keep playing because they know it will make you happy and won’t make you mad if you no longer play that sport. Also, pushing them too much can create early tension between you and your kids. Along with that, once the kids become teenagers or older and start playing in the high school or even collegiate level and realize, “oh, I no longer want to play this sport,” or “I would rather play this sport,” they will build a resentment towards you for basically forcing them to keep playing a sport they hate and you love.

Continuing with the problems at a younger age, if you push them too hard towards sports they may never be able to participate in activities that they do love such as the arts. If they are given this chance and excel at them while discovering their passion, let them continue with that because they love to do that. Yes, people will want their kids to play sports especially if they were athletes themselves, but you cannot shame your kid for wanting to do other things.

My final problem with forcing them to play sports at a young age is pushing them too hard towards a specific one, whether it is your favorite sport or the one that you got All-Conference in during your high school career. This will prevent them from finding the sport they find most appealing.

All of these problems will eventually build up into bigger problems for when they get older.

As I said earlier, kids could build resentment towards you for preventing them from trying other sports or activities that they have a desire to participate in. They will feel like they NEED to keep playing that sport. It’s not fair to them. Let your kids experience their own life. Play the sport(s) they want to participate in.

While sports are important to participate in because of the values they teach and the friendships/relationships they establish, there are many benefits to playing in sports so kids should be pushed to do it. But there are many dangers to it also. Some of them being the stress created by pressuring too much or getting your own son or daughter injured.

Don’t create a rift between you and yours kids just because you want them to play sports. It is not right.

My own experience is a bit different because I always felt like my parents never really pushed me that much to succeed in sports. They supported me and got me the things I needed, but never really motivated me. They just came and watched.

When I was younger I played football for a few years, but felt bad when I wanted to stop playing and run cross country because he was such a big football guy. He got All-Conference his senior year and was a star for his team. It felt like it wasn’t just me quitting, but it felt like I when I stopped playing that meant he had to stop playing and he didn’t want that to happen.  Regardless, I eventually got passed that feeling and joined Cross Country my junior year.

I have also seen the opposite of this. I was visiting a friend because I was going to go for a run with him and when talking to his dad I got the feeling that the opposite was true here. He seemed like he was always forced or pushed to do things. Was more his dad making him than him doing it on his own free will.

I plan to push my kids to play sports in general, invite them to try whatever and however many sports they want to do. If they want to play baseball, don’t stop them. If they want to be a runner, do it! If they want to play tennis, let them. And this should not change whether people have a son or daughter.

Once the kid chooses, you can begin to push them harder and harder over the years. Once they commit to a sport push them to better themselves, get them the things they need-if able- to accomplish their goals, and do anything else that you believe will help them succeed.

Another thing that goes along with this: do not make your kid feel bad if they do not want to play sports or if they want to commit to the sport that you may not technically like.